Written by
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
Paul Howard
Illustrated by
Alan Clarke
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: The Orange Mocha-Chip Frappuccino Years

'So there I was, roysh, enjoying college life, college birds and, like, a major amount of socialising.' Can Ross survive outside Castlerock College?

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208 pages
196x130 mm

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So there I was, roysh, enjoying college life, college birds and, like, a major amount of socialising. Then, roysh, the old pair decide to mess everything up for me. And we're talking totally here.

Don't ask me what they were thinking. I hadn't, like, changed or treated them any differently, but the next thing I know, roysh, I'm out on the streets. Another focking day in paradise for me!

If it hadn't been for Oisinn's apartment in Killiney, the old man paying for my Golf GTI, JP's old man's job offer and all the goys wanting to buy me drink, it would have been, like, a complete mare. Totally. But naturally, roysh, you can never be sure what life plans to do to you next. At least, it came as a complete focking surprise to me …

The life and times of Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, cult hero.

Paul Howard helps Ross O'Carroll-Kelly to write his autobiographical series, largely because Ross can't really write, roysh? Find out more at

He is also the author of the bestselling prison expose, The Joy, and co-author of Celtic Warrior, the autobiography of boxer Steve Collins.

A former Sports Journalist of the Year, Paul covered the World Cup in Japan and Korea in 2002, and the rugby World Cup in Australia in 2003. His account of the Irish soccer squad and the notorious drama in Saipan, The Gaffers: Mick McCarthy, Roy Keane and the Team they Built, was a bestseller.

Paul has also written several massively popular plays and has won the popular fiction prize at the Irish Book Awards three times for books in the Ross O'Carroll-Kelly series.

Just about the most hilarious character to grace the pages of an Irish novel for as many years as I can remember. It's a long time since I laufghed so heartily at a book as at this Holden-Caulfield-meets-Sebastian-Dangerfield hybrid ... If I'm ageist I'll say it will primarily appeal to the twenty-something brigade, but I'm fifty and I adored it.

Books Ireland

It provides fascinating insights into the mind of O'Carroll-Kelly, a quintessential, Heino-drinking, Dublin 4 rugby jock.

The Irish Times

A book that is more than just a parody of dreadful rugby types and their girlfriends. It's as strong as a knowing commentary on the peculiar direction the middle classes in this country have taken since the mid-90s. In this way, Howard (via Ross) has a zeitgeisty insight into first world problems that have long been troubling this unashamedly middle class reviewer, viz property prices, cappuccino culture, and the Americanisation of the young Irish person. Each one is picked off with the precision of a trained sniper. ... One of the funniest books (and I do not say this lightly) that has crossed my path in a long, long time.

The Sunday Tribune

This is quite simply one of the most hilarious books you're ever likely to read.


represents a regrettable art of Irish culture (the Heino drinking, D4, rugby-playing sect) in all its idiotic, materialistic ignominy. A focking laugh, roysh.

Evening Herald
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Other books by this author
  • Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: The Teenage Dirtbag Years
  • Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, PS, I scored the bridesmaids
  • Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, The Miseducation Years
  • Hostage

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